Moments

                  They say that when you are breathing your last, when your brain is about to shut down for ever, when the last few moments are comparable to the pinch of sand, each breath you take is that one speck that slips through the hole only to perish in the vast heap at the bottom of the hour glass, you can see your entire life flashing before your eyes. You get to weigh your past deeds and rationalize your needs, which you had no time to do when you actually had the time to live. Your mind travels back to the hazy memories of children running about laughing, a swing in motion and a happy lady whom you recognize as your wife calling out to you for your turn to play with your daughter for she has work in the kitchen to attend. You have totally blocked the truth, that you leg is crushed under the weight of metal and a moving tire scathing your jaw, out of your head at this moment.

                  This is the moment to remember those who had loved you, who you had loved, whom and what all you had left to be with the person you loved. There was nothing I could not afford with the money I had earned throughout my life, but I can't take the money with me to the place I was heading for and I can't trade it to get back those moments that I have left behind or have missed. The incoherent whispering and the sound of siren disrupts my reminiscence momentarily, my body feels tad bit lighter and strong grips around my shoulder and legs. But soon enough I am transported to the time my little daughter Susanna was tugging at my shirt sleeve and was cooing to me to stay back. I was too rakish to realise that touch of innocence, too foolish not to listen to the words of my angel. My excuse? A very lame one. I was under the spell of a seductress half my age, who literally sucked away my conscience and reduced me to the title of sugar daddy who was providing her with all the candies she needed to make it to the top of the society. Hazel with her sparkly blonde head, sun kissed shimmery skin and pink pouty poison mouth spelt trouble the very first day she had stepped into the office. She had me wrapped around her finger soon enough and I was completely out of my mind!! I was being stupid to let my guard down like that, foolish to think I could be young again by rubbing shoulders with this bloke. Misty was hysteric the day she got hold of the accounts of my affair. What I thought was over-reaction coming from a person who stayed out late and travelled a lot because of work now seems so legit for she was the person who had given up everything to be with me.

                 I can see that day I met Misty at the beach bar when we were in our twenties. She was there with a bunch of gal friends and I used to work part time as an assistant to my elder brother who was a bartender in the same bar. The beach bar Summer Colorado was an amazing place which had housed many amazing love stories. Infact my brother had met most of his girlfriends in here with whom he claimed to have numerous adventures. The bar had functioned only during the summer season and most of the clienteles were female. So the day job was serving beverages and flirting away till the ladies shimmied their drunk selves or were carried (read: groped) by their male counterparts out of the place. There's this red head that stood out amongst the crowd that day. She had refused to drink and had blocked out numerous advances from the wolves flocking around her. She looked sad but it was apparent that she did not need any rescuing. She looked waif pretty and different from her gang of girls who were flaunting shoulder pads and outlandish hairdos. She was dressed in a simple forest green dress with her wavy locks cascading over her right shoulder. Now that was my moment of experiencing ethereal beauty! I had only talked to her once that day when she had asked me the directions to the washroom to which I had replied that it was better for her to hold it back and let it out in her own house or at any friend's place. She had flung me a quizzical expression which froze me before I could tell her that a girl like her should not step in to the washroom of this bar, given the fact that it's common for both men and women and she did not seem to be the "hello sailor" type. She took off in another direction and I had just realised the magnitude of stupidity in my free advice. Little did I know that being stupid that time would earn me her gratitude and later her trust. She started frequenting the club and we got closer until it was the end of the season and the time to pull down the shutters of the bar had arrived.

                I was still unaware of her surname Pettrisue, a legacy of shipping magnates! And I Pete Delevan was just an honors student who was paying off his college fees with the extra money he had earned from doing odd jobs here and there. But Misty and I knew that we wanted to be together. She had to go against her parents and had to leave behind everything so that she could be with me. We got married at a local church and I was still unemployed. But I was determined to leave behind the callous carefree days and place myself in the hands of hardship so that my wife would never turn her back towards me and say that she can't live like this. And eventually I had made it to the top, I became the prestigious owner of the chain of Delevigne Hotels. Misty gave birth to our lovely daughter Susanna. But since I was busy and out for work most of the time, she grew lonelier by the minute until she used her arts degree and her parents contacts to get the job of an art consultant. Her job requires a lot of travelling and staying out late, similar to mine, but she works hard while I was busy doing something else. We made a lot of money and we had everything that we wished to possess. But I had missed out on my daughter's birthday and my wedding anniversary quite a number of times. It was all forgiven though since both of us knew what we had been through to make everything work. 

                 Misty was inconsolable the day she found out about my short trips with my assistant Hazel to one of the hotels. The path I had taken was forbidden and dangerous but I still do not understand why I could not think rationally then as I am doing now. Is this how the final moments of a dying person is supposed to be? Is this the time when you judge yourself and repent cause you there's nothing you can do? How easily I could have said no to that witch and had saved my marriage, I could have been with Misty and Susanna now. If only I had listened to my daughter today and had not packed my things to move in with that witch. None of these things would have taken place. I can't even recognise these people swarming around me, where is Misty? Where is my daughter? .....