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Dreams? What do they mean?
The one that grows inside increasing the pain?
Or the one that sweeps a person out clean?
No, don't ever ask me, I've got no answer to this!
Dreams! No way, is a part of me!
I am what I am and I am afraid to see.
I feel hell lot lighter and I am always free,
Cause I've never had a dream chasing me.
I live freely, I fly high, dreams can never get me,
I am not bound to this earth
And I had been flying like this since my birth.
Gravity had never affected me-
Sorrow, pain, emptiness have deserted me!

Forget it Girl, you're all empty inside.
You are a nobody girl and there's no one beside.
You have been faking your life like this all the time,
You have had a dream and now you're out of rhyme.
You feel light but your character has no weight-
No happiness to keep you smiling for hours now.
You have been living your life like this?? Tell me how??!
Get back to reality girl, or else you will be all dead.
Before you can wake up, you have retired to your bed.
Face it girl, you're all hollow inside,
Before you can open your eyes you have already died.

Oh yeah? If this is so, then I choose to be like this.
I have my own free will...alive or dead...who really cares?
Some of you can understand me never!
Keep telling me things that I'll be opposing forever.
I know what I want, so this is how I've created myself,
I'm better off alone and I need no one's help.

Waiting still...

Minutes go by as..
The air fogs up my glasses,
My hair gets tousled,
And sickeningly pale grows the face.


It's the third day but-
There's no sign of you coming.
As I had expected you to be,
Making up your mind again.


I have become a joke-
To all those who know my story.
And those who get to see me,
Waiting for you, as they pass me by.


But I am not bothered,
By what others want to see-
What's between us, cause I am still waiting
For you to come back to me.

What's wrong with ugliness???

Here I am, this is me...
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be...


....and so what? Umm...I am in no mood to construct a parody or sing in appraisal for the famous Bryan Adam song. But let's just get one thing straight, I am here (again) to share a piece of my mind...and please do read the above sentence again...A PIECE OF MY MIND.


 I know that I should never call god's creation ugly, but if it had been God's decision to make human beings "a not so divine" replica of his own being, well he has to go lot further than just restraining my brain and imagination. I mean seriously...to be totally honest with myself...I have seen ugly human beings and decent ones transforming themselves into sheer ugliness. And trust me, my fate has brought me to places where I actually had to face ugly stuff!!! To the extent, that instead of sleeping, when it's actually about 5 mins past 5 during the early hours, I am compelled to write about all this in my blog. After all, this is the only place (other than my bf's ears) where I can vent out, what people call, inner feelings, thoughts, etc. It all started with some pics I had to accidentally come across in Facebook, and since then, my brain has gone bananas! Moreover, my roomies won't stop talking about how scary and vulgar those pics were. The weirdest thing was, 2 or 3 of my friends, of the male gender have found the subject of those pics to be "in fashion", and the remaining were all HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....even on hearing their comments of praise. Now you can very well understand why previously I had to classify ugliness into being naturally ugly and the transformation to it. 


My dear readers, I have only a few words for the subject of my post (if there at all is one)
YOU ARE UGLY!!! PLEASE DON'T SCARE ME OFF AND ALSO THE PUBLIC THIS WAY!!!!
There is actually something, seriously wrong about YOUR ugliness, cause I have wasted my night's sleep for this!
Thank you....

Essence Of Life

A distant ethereal voice.
Is it trying to tell something to me?
Is it asking me to stay?
My vision's all hazy now.
But the shadow of a dainty being,
Is getting closer to this bed of roses,
Over which, I lay....


It has come from a far off place,
In search of me,
And it's sad cause I am about to leave.
I have no answer to why it is asking me,
To carry on and never give up.
Only if I can explain to this apparition,
That I just have a few more minutes to live.


The voice continues to linger,
Inside my mind and I am still unsure,
Whether it's my imagination,
Or something beyond my understanding.
Cause the death clock is ticking over my head,
And yet the voice says that if I can make it stop,
Then I will never have to face it all alone.


A sweet fragrance feels up the atmosphere,
As I continue to rest on my death bed.
The cold north breeze gently kisses my lips.
As the voice starts to fade away,
And so does my senses.
But before I have closed my eyes,
I can feel the tear drops in the form of dew,
As they fall on my cheeks.

Hippie Drive

The intoxicating essence of freedom,
And spiral smoke from marijuana,
Sends off the mind spinning-
And you don't feel like going back home.
So raise up your wine glasses,
And sing in unison.
Cause the hippie inside you-
Is dying to go back to the nineteen seventies.


Psychedelic frenzy with the soft beats of Floyd,
But it's modernism that's killing us all.
Gone are those days,
When peace and love were the only thing in mind.
So you should pick up that beer can,
And dim the light from the world.
Get hold on the weed and-
Live your life from the dusk till it's dawn.


Lose yourself in this state of half conscience,
Let go all the pain and worries,
Feel the soft waves of upliftment,
Seek redemption amidst the soft music beats.
In the name of Lord, it's legal for you.
Cause political turmoil has been long legalized.
Awaken the free-spirited hipster inside you,
Cause being natural is the only thing that's true.

The Art of Living

The art of living.

     The street corner...

 The stairway to heaven.

         The people.

 The tile artists colony.

       Simple, unified journey.

 The life.

    The shapers of tile story.

 Tile story continued. 

        Of debris and manpower.

 The craft.

         The storyteller.

 The heroes of the story.

            The artist's tools.

 The artist at work.

       At the mercy of god.

 Divinity.

         The culture...the religion.

The wordless story of a small village...

Kadaikudi, Tamil Nadu

The carving of humankind amidst long lost humanity.

An Emo Poem

This emotive piece was hidden in between the pages of my diary, which I had maintained quite a few years back. The content means nothing in the present time nor did it mean anything then...but the feelings with which I had composed it...well just for the sake of those feelings, I will publish this as a post.




I lie, lifeless, on the ground, alone.
How could my life, get so mad at me?
I could never figure that out on my own.
It seemed like just yesterday, when we had promised-
We will be together forever, but,
It all fell apart, last night, when-
Your words pierced my heart and left me dying.


I can now see the stars, breaking down, from the sky,
As they come down on this earth to cover me.
I can see myself, in the bonds of heaven,
But I am struggling to break free.
I need your hand, I need your help,
I need you to save my soul from getting lost tonight.
I want you back, cause I am scared of death.
I beg, I weep, come take me home...


Cause you are the one,
Who can save my soul.
Make me feel alright,
Protect me from getting lost.
Tears cut my cheek,
As I am getting weak.
Can no more bear this pain.
Wont you ever come back again?


My last wish, is to be with you, see you for one last time.
Cause it's too late now, I am all broken-
Inside out and I don't ink I can live longer.

Victim

On the brink is where I am,

Hated and betrayed, mistreated...misunderstood-

My cheeks have been cut by blood red tears

But my baby, it's okay, you have no time to fear.

They hate me now, for no fault of mine.

To those people, I don't exist at all.

My morality has been attacked by tons of lies,

But my baby, it's no use, cause no one can hear you cry.

They spit acid on my face as I raise my voice,

Saying that I am the one accused.

And now I have shut myself from the world outside,

But my baby, hold on to it, even if it's a tough ride.

Word Play over Coffee

Trrrring...the tiny brass bell, hanging over the door of Micke's Cafe jingles as Simone peeps in.
"It just opened or am I too early?" Simone's smile is like sunshine and her presence brightens up Micke's cafe and life.
"I am yet to set the ingredients inside the coffee maker and there are those baked items for which I need to find a proper place to display. But you are not really too early, the man who delvers newspaper just left this place 15 minutes ago." Micke's smile is Simone's morning.
"I will be extremely glad if I get to help you with all these. The sooner it's done, the longer I will get to spend the day's time with you."
Micke nods with a smile on his face and gestures her to come inside.


Micke and Simone had been childhood friends and neighbors, who had been residing in Mulberry Oaklore since they were born. Micke works part-time in Pentown Bakery and goes to St Puttinson College of Commerce. Micke, who is a year older than Simone lives with his mother Rosey, who is a retired school teacher and her elder brother Fisher, the owner of the only departmental store in Pentown, in their 2 storeyed wooden ranch-house. It's because of Rosey, Micke's mother, this economic buy had always looked like the tidiest nest adorned with natural beauty. There were vines that hung from the roof, then potted petunia on window sills, wild flowers of different hues and type bordered the picket fence that separated their ranch from the house Simone and her family was residing in. Simone's family consisted of 6 orphans and their guardian Miss Davis, a 60 year old retired bank officer. Miss Davis was the only female bank officer of her time, living in California. She was without any family member and never got married. Instead, with the money she had earned she opened up the Orphanage in Mulberry Oaklore that homed Simone and her other 5 orphan sisters. Simone is the oldest among them. The story of Simone's real parents however is not known to anyone, Simone's couldn't recall as to when she had seen them last.

"There, so it's all set now. Have your seat, I will just go and get your cream java." Simone smiles and sits just beside the wide glass pane, overlooking the streets of Pentown. She turns her head side-wise and gazes out of the window and her mind drifts away to something belonging to someplace and so on...


Micke catches a glimpse of her, being lost in thought, through the corner of his eye.
"Just like any other day..." He murmurs to himself. He stops for a while and looks towards her. Shall I tell her today itself? She's my best buddy, she has the right to know! And then he looks down with a sheepish smile, his cheeks fully on fire.


Simone was still ignorant regarding the changing expressions and colors on Micke's face. She had conflicts in her own mind regarding her feelings. I wonder if Micke will ever understand what he is to me now...it's getting difficult for me every passing day. Shall I confess today that I am in love with him and that I have been loving him since 8Th grade? He looks up to me as a sister and best friend only...but how long can we stick to being cute friends type?? Why can't he see that there's more than just friendship between us?! It's now or never for me...I just got to let him now how I feel...


"Hey...here's your coffee". Micke puts the cup down on the table and sits opposite to her. Simone looks at him and then instantly looks down. Micke bends the neck down to scrutinizes her face and asks, "Hey is everything alright?"
"Ah yeah...haven't slept properly last night...too much of that sick project work." She stammers while still looking down.
"Hey...I gotta tell you something..." Simone looks up with an odd expression on her face...this time Micke was looking away.
"No, it's nothing serious." He looks at her and smiles. Simone's silence bothered him a bit though. Anyway he continued. "I met a girl few days back in the Cafe..."
"You met a girl?"
"Yeah, I met this girl Hailey and.."
"And?"
"I don't know what had happened but she did make me feel as if my search for a partner for life was complete! I swear! The feeling was awesome...she got my sight transfixed at her...she had smiled and blushed when her eyes had caught mine....."
The words were not entirely making an impact in Simone's mind. It was all fading away...as if she was not meant to be there and time was sucking her out of the place slowly... Why? Why are you not realizing that the girl for you, is seated just opposite to you..stop her from going crazy...please stop it now...


"Hello?? You listening to what I just said?" Micke was staring at her with a very eager face.
"Umm...yeah...good..I mean wow..." Simone was trying pretty hard not to be upset, but her thoughts were running wild.
"So shall I ask her out...the next time I see her?"
"Sure why not...do whatever you feel is making you and her happy." Her words made Micke smile.
"Thanks...yes I would definitely try to keep her happy when she's with me...ahhh this is the first time some girl is driving me crazy!!!!"
"Aha, it happens...hey I gotta go...gotta hit the college early today." Simone got up, slung her bag across her chest and made towards the door.
"But you haven't finished your coffee yet...", Micke was quite surprised at the turn of events, he had expected Simone to be super excited and be a tease and all.
Simone stopped for a while, turned behind, "You know...? There's always a next time for talks over coffee, today it's just not the day." The brass bell jingles as she opens the doors and walks off.
Micke was shocked on seeing her behave like this. "I will never get to understand this jerk!"


 Simone could not control all that were going through her mind, tears had welled up in her eyes and she had started running. "This can't be...Why...? Why? Why??? Why me all the time?
How can he do this to me...?? How can he be interested in some other girl and not for once think about all the time we had been together and all the things I had done for him...?"


Simone was in no mood to go to the college. Instead she had taken the path that leads to the town park...one of her favorite places. The park was where she and Micke had promised each other to be the best of friends and never part ways, no matter what happens. That was some 10 years back though, but it meant a lot to Simone, atleast she has never thought of going against her words. But Micke, according to her, was straying away from their friendship and supposed relationship of bonding. And at that very moment, Simone felt she could  run away to no other place other than the Park. 


Micke was feeling more impatient and drained that morning. Something is really bothering Simone...running off early to the college is not a usual thing for her. I should have asked if everything was okay with her, she was being totally weird, shouldn't have left her like that. I am so insensible...I guess I shouldn't have blabbered so much about my thoughts...
The ring of the brass bell brings him back to cafe counter. With melodious humming and the swinging of soft golden beach wave like mane, entered Micke's lady of interest. She was alone today. The young lady smiles at Micke, on entering and delicately catwalks to the place where she and her friends were seated the day before.. All the while, Micke had been standing like a statue, struck by the aura of sweet feelings, emotions and beauty of the girl, whose name he remembered was Hailey. He couldn't help blushing when Hailey turned her face towards him and gave a sheepish smile. I will ask her out today for sure. Micke was confident about the fact that things might just click between Hailey and him. The first move was obviously, taking the orders from the lady.

This is so fucking wrong!!! Simone sits on the stone bench and rubs her boots harshly against the soft grasses surrounding the seat. Too many things were going inside her mind...anger, pain, betrayal.. Micke...I love you...don't do this to me... She breaks into sobs again... Heartbroken, that she was, it was impossible for her to convince herself that Micke was denying any feelings for her. 


She was getting flashbacks of the time they had spent together in the Oaklore. Skinny dipping at 6 in the pond, campfire, they would never attend a single party without each other, the first flower that Micke had given to her- which was a four leaved clover and what not of out of the world stuffs. Simone had always seen Micke and herself as the Prince and Princess of the fairy tale...they had always lived happily ever after. But Micke has ruined it all...he has got himself a different princess and has forgotten about her. Things wouldn't have been so bad, if she was not in love him. But her feelings were truly deep. She had been pining for him since middle school...and now that they are both in college, she finally had procured the guts to tell him of her feelings, she was damn sure that Micke felt the same. But it was not how she had dreamt of always. Firstly her forever missing parents and now her first love...there are no hopes. 




"Hey"
"Hi"
"Hailey right?"
"Ummm..yeah. So nice of you to remember my name". Hailey was all smiles and Micke couldn't help blushing.
"Yeah...nice name for a beautiful young lady.."
"Oh, thanks...I am flattered... Hey! You aren't pulling my leg right?"
"Oh no, seriously you are very pretty..."
"Is that what makes you blush so much, every-time I visit this place?" Hailey gave a very cheeky look but it was all too sweet.
"As if you come here on purpose everyday just to see me blush?" Micke was thoroughly enjoying the conversation. Hailey burst out laughing.
"Nice try huh! Hey sit down..and talk."
"Ummm...actually I can't do that now...gotta attend the customer call here..we can go out to some other place you know, if you really want to talk with me."
"Oh sure! I will leave for my college some few minutes from now and I will be free after 5 in the evening."
"Cool, I will be done by 7. So we can meet up somewhere around 7.30?"
"That's okay, but I have to reach home before it's 9. The meeting would be very brief, I am afraid."
"It's okay with me, we will just talk...so it's set..and we are friends now right?" Micke smiles and moves forward his hand.
"So nice of you, yes we are friends now. So it's 7.30pm at the cafe." Hailey slips her palm inside Micke's grip and they shake hands as a mark of their new found friendship.




By the time Simone got a hang of herself and her sobs were lessening down, it was almost twilight. The breeze that was blowing through the town and through the leaves of the maple leaves and dry twigs around the park, was the harbinger of winter season. Autumn was waning away as days progressed. She picked up a dry leaf and started twirling it between her fingers.
What if the girl rejects him? What if she is already in love with some other person? Micke will forget that girl right..? He will have to get back to me then.....right? Simone gets up and shakes off all the dust and leaves from her coat. She started walking slowly towards the park gate, anyway it was too late...and it was a long way back to the Oaklore. Moreover the sight of children playing around and lovers strolling about the park pathway, hand in hand, was too much for her to take in. She had also fantasized the same things with her and Micke too, but now, it felt as if her own conscience was mocking her fantasies. 




Can this story be ended....? If they meet up...it becomes a typical love story of boy-realizing-girl's-love and even if they don't meet, it's just another love failure story.
We can just let them be there right? I know it's unfinished...but then why deduce something from the story....let the characters be...let's not play anymore with the emotions....characters, though fictional, have emotions in the story right....let's just for once be one of them and leave them in peace. That's all I had intended to do. What my readers will want to do with it, is there wish.

Wild Intentions

Such an enchanting beautiful night,
When the moon's golden,
Setting the forest on passionate fire.
I shall dance around-
With no fear, nor shame,
Cause tonight, that's what my heart desires.
I will live amongst the phoney,
And with the wizard of the night,
I shall sign the treaty of kinship.
I am no human, am not mortal,
And I am not the shadow of dismal hour.
I am here to make you lose your sleep,
With the slight twirl of my rosy lips.
My intentions are neither good nor bad,
I will simply free your soul from fear.
So come along with me and join this dance.
To liven up the woods and night,
Let's all take a chance.
This is no sin, because it's a blessing from god.
The sweet taste and aura of the night,
Will intoxicate us, 
And we will be brimmed up with madness.
Till the early hours we shall celebrate-
Before one can slip into the cover of conscience.
And here again we shall meet up,
To make the dark hours of our life suffice.

Changeling

A fresh morning start,
Is what I am waiting to see.
I hope that it rains,
So that I can be relaxed,
And sip on a cup of piping hot tea.


The sky should be clearer,
As the time for noon is about to strike.
The only company is be the road,
And the golden lit valley-
As I set out for a long lonely drive.


The noon was high, but-
Now that the sun is setting down,
I put my ride to a halt,
Just on the banks of an unknown canal-
Silently absorbing the changing colors of twilight.


The most crucial part of the journey,
Shall begin when it's night time.
As I make my way through the jungle,
Towards a clearance,
Where the fire is dimly lit.


And I shall madly dance around,
To the sound of the dry twigs crackling,
Devouring the heat and the moonlight.
I am hear today, to see myself transform,
Into something I am unsure of,
Just when it is about to strike midnight.


The dark night will pour-
All its blessings on me,
As I am shedding my conscience and skin.
The chanting and the music in the woods increases,
With the pace of my swinging feet.

Less is More to me...

Living life doing things that one likes and is fine with, is the best type of life one can have, instead of trying to live gang-wise and all. When in a gang and all, at one time it all fall apart. After all different people has different views from the rest. They can never reach one single solution. Decision is supposed to be unanimous, which is more or less not attained as time goes on. Ignorance is bliss and next to godliness to me. Yes, these are my views. I love being left alone, doing things that I find comfort in. That may include shopping, blogging, having ice-cream, evening walks with the lover, the in-between romance and so on. But more or less....I have learnt to live my life with these only. The little things that life gifts me are enough for me to get by. A coffee-tea break in between walks on a rainy day...is best enjoyed when with the person you love the most or when in solitude. That's what what my life is to me now- my Teddy, my parents, my blog and laptop... :-)

Goddess of Wind

She is the mother,
Her anger gives you grief.
But she loves her children,
Her care gives you relief.


She is the ruler,
Raging over the sea.
Even the lofty mountains couldn't-
Stop her from running free.


She is the best companion for your child,
The balloons and kites one can see flying.
She is the main reason why,
Mankind took birth and is living.


She moves like a lady,
She moves like a Queen.
She dances around like the happiest damsel,
One has ever seen.


She is the breeze,
She is the gale.
She can spin about...
A wonderful fairy-tale.

But she is beautiful,

With pale valor.

Her hair flies all around,

With the soft magical words she murmurs.

The goddess of wind is friend of all.
She has shunned her vanity. 
She reaches out to those,
Who are in dire need of her touch.


But then the goddess of wind is blind,
She rushes of to any direction,
Leaving all behind.
She moves hither and yonder..
Like a soulless young girl,
In search of her long lost lover.

Truth is...

It takes some time for you to realize,
But when it hits on you,
It makes you wiser and not morbid.
It clears the fog of a new path too.


The fragrance of truth is exotic,
It sets your spirits free.
It protects the tender heart,
After all it's the fruit-
Of the forbidden knowledge tree...


Truth is that it will end up hurting you.
Truth is that without which you can't move ahead.
Truth is as fragrant as a wild rose,
Whose thorns will always leave-
Your soul and body deeply wounded.


But can life go on without truth?
Truth is that without truth-
Life can be picture perfect.
But then life loses its meaning of moving on.
This sadistic Utopian kingdom is something-
Which mankind will always hate.

Bananas!

A bump or two,

I go wobbly woo!

With the specs hanging over the nose,

The dishes crash over my toes!

Jumping here and there,

When on the phone with my friend.

The next moment I am in the air

And eventually landing on the floor,

With the phone falling over my head!

I go all blah blah blah,

When I am walking down the road.

My eyes would always miss the dent.

I would surely trip and fall flat like a toad!

I gaze all dreamily at the night sky,

Blinking at the twinkly stars.

The dark clouds would just then gather up,

And start scaring me with its lightning sparks!!!

The Sisters' Motives

The sisters we are
Pain, love and war,
Are eternal masters
Of this infinite universe.
We have always been ruling,
Cruel games we are always playing,
Will finish off this creation.
We have finalized this decision.
We will rejoice at our victory,
People will suffer from our treachery.
This wonderful sisterhood,
And our destructive attitude,
Shall immortalize our winning.
Our mission we will soon be beginning!
You can run from us but never hide,
To your doom we will make you stride.
The end is here now,
The light of hope will never make itself show!
You should say your last prayers,
Then burn out with your own tears.